


Being Human

by FriskySalmon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Human Castiel, M/M, My First Destiel Fanfic, One Shot, Oral Sex, POV Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 10:29:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2385080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriskySalmon/pseuds/FriskySalmon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas becomes human and finally figures out his true feelings for his friend. Where would this realization lead him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Human

**Author's Note:**

> The story takes place during season 9 episode 6 "Heaven Can't Wait," more specifically right after Castiel finished babysitting for his co-worker.

“Steve,” she paused momentarily. “The part of you that over reacted, that cares so much... that’s what makes you special.”

He looked at her, his expression unreadable, before turning towards the waiting Impala and the man leaning against it. Dean hung up his phone just as Castiel reached the car and gave him a look of understanding laced with guilt. 

“Where to Cas?”

Cas just stood there, words swirling in his head yet nothing would come forth to form a sentence. Finally he gave up, opened the car door and slipped quietly into the passenger seat. Cas was confused, the misunderstanding with his co-worker from the Gas-N-Sip should have hurt him, and on a newly discovered pride level it did sting, but he didn’t feel particularly HURT by it. Not like the hurt he had felt when Dean had asked him to leave the bunker. 

The driver’s side door opened and Dean slipped into the relative warmth of the car, closing the door firmly behind him as he settled behind the wheel. He turned towards Cas, his green eyes piercing yet gentle. Cas could see the guilt behind those emerald orbs, so masterfully disguised, but he could not understand the origin of that guilt. Cas knew he was a danger to anyone that came close to him, and the angels held the Winchester brothers no love. It was the right move asking Cas to leave, to protect his little brother, and Dean had never regretted doing anything if it meant keeping Sam as protected as possible in their line of profession. 

Then why this guilt? And why did Cas feel this stabbing pain in his chest everytime he remembered Dean’s words? The silence grew until it was deafening, neither man said a word and the tension grew so thick one could cut it with a knife. 

“Uh,” Cas cleared his throat and bit his bottom lip slightly. “W-We should leave, could you take me back home?” 

“Where’s that Cas?”

“The Gas-N-Sip.” 

“...” Dean frowned as fresh guilt washed over his face, this time he didn’t hide it so well. “You live there?”

“Yeah, it’s my home now, until I can figure something else out.” Cas looked out the window, a new feeling wormed itself into his brain and it made his face grow hot. Embarrassment? Was he embarrassed to admit to Dean of his less than ideal living situation? 

The Impala roared into life as Dean turned on the ignition, the car sailed smoothly away from the curb and into the quiet, empty street. Cas stole a glance at the brooding man sitting next to him, Dean’s face was scrunched up in a frown, one that Cas knew so well and missed dearly. The radio was off, and Cas, for once in his life, longed for the sound of music to mask the discomfort that was suffocating him, but he didn’t turn it on, it didn’t feel right to touch things in Dean’s car without his permission. 

Since when did he care so much about personal boundaries? Cas frowned as he struggled with all these new found feelings, and the understanding of these feelings, inside him. Being cast down from Heaven, his Grace stolen, the ride had been a roller coaster of emotions and feelings that Cas had, before this time, only known on a theoretical level. Love, hate, anger, embarrassment, hunger, the need to sleep, he had known about all these things and yet he hadn’t. Not really, not until now, when everytime he experienced a feeling it made him feel like a hormonal teenage boy. 

The car took a turn opposite to where the Gan-N-Sip was.

“Dean, this is the wrong way,” Cas stated matter of factly. Some things never change.

“I know.”

The silence grew once more, and Cas, finally realizing that this was all the explanation he was going to get, settled back into the seat and stared out the window. He missed his wings, he missed the freedom of it. He missed his “angel mojo” as Dean so delicately put it, missed the ability to help people, take away their pain, to heal and mend and protect. He was an Angel of the Lord, protector of His favourite, most perfect and yet most flawed creation. Now he was just Castiel, the human, worse, he was a child amongst men for he did not have the skill nor education to navigate the maze of humanity. 

Cas woke to the Impala gliding gracefully into a parking spot behind a low rise building, he looked at Dean, his head tilted slightly to the side as confusion washed over his innocent, almost childlike features. 

“Do you have something about the case to share with me?” 

“No, come on. I’ll be damned if I let you sleep in a sleeping bag tonight,” Dean cleared his throat and pulled out the car key. “There’s an extra bed.”

Cas watched Dean’s silhouette as he walked away from the car, the way Dean’s hips swayed with each step, the way his legs were bent slightly outwards, the way his shoulders bunched up with tension and fatigue. Cas felt his cheeks flame up once more and his body react the way it had on that night when he laid with the reaper. What a weirdly new sensation to have just from watching someone! Quickly Cas fumbled with the handle to the car door, and cursed once more as he remembered how he wouldn’t even need to use the door in the past. 

The fallen angel followed the hunter up to the second floor of this less than reputable motel, and waited quietly for Dean to unlock the door before they both piled into the room beyond. Dean flicked on the lights and stalked straight to the bathroom in the back, leaving Cas behind to take in the scenery. 

The room was small, two twin beds with a nightstand between them took up most of the space. There was a dresser at the foot of the bed, an old CRT television sat on top. Next to the dresser was a table with two chairs, the table top was nearly completely covered with research papers and newspaper clippings. This must have been where Dean did what little reading he needed to do for the case. Cas smiled to himself as he remembered his early times with the Winchester brothers. The feelings he had felt back then were filtered through his vessel, but remembering them now Cas was able to comprehend all of it, soak up all of it; the friendship, the heartache, the hope and trust the brothers had felt, and with it came the realization that he was attracted to the man he had raised from perdition. 

Cas froze, his brain working overtime as he observed through his mind’s eye his interactions with Dean over the past few years. His need to be with Dean whenever he could, the way he would put aside everything as soon as Dean prayed to him. He had passed it off as duty back then, yet he did not answer anyone else’s prayers the way he did Dean’s. But angels did not feel, it was in their perfectly engineered core that they were fair, just, unfeeling and therefore unhindered by emotion. 

So then, why did it hurt so damn much when Dean cast him from the bunker?

Cas sat down heavily on the bed closest to the bathroom, the discovery of his feelings for Dean both excited and terrified him. In all his years of watching over humankind love between two men were frowned upon, and he’d witnessed the cruelties and injustice done towards men whose only crime was loving another man. 

So deep in his thoughts was Cas that he did not notice Dean coming out of the bathroom, nor did he notice the slight puffiness of Dean’s blood shot eyes, and was startled when Dean sat down next to him on the soft mattress. 

“I’m so sorry Cas, I-” Dean’s voice was laced with such sadness, but Cas did not hear it.

“I’m attracted to you.” 

Dean froze mid-sentence, a look of utter shock replaced the immense guilt and sadness that was only momentarily earlier etched deeply into the lines of his face. Cas also blinked in shock at his own forwardness, then the familiar heat crawled up from his neck to heat his cheeks, and he was again burning with embarrassment. 

“What?”

“I-I don’t know what came over me. It’s all these feelings, they’re all so new to me.” The words tumbled out of Cas and he watched in horror as days, weeks, months worth of bottled up emotions came pouring out of him. “I killed my brothers and sisters, I trusted Metatron, I messed up, I lost my Grace, I’m human Dean. I’m fucking HUMAN and I can’t understand why you humans need to eat and poop so much. I feel...things, things that I’m not made to feel and it’s driving me insane.

“Everyday I’m bombarded with these new discoveries that you humans have had centuries to learn and perfect. And then I started thinking about you and all these feelings that I thought my vessel had felt came crashing down and I realise that I’m...I’m…” Cas swallowed, suddenly he’d found the cork to his bottle and he was more than happy to use it. Cas stole a glance at Dean and the look of pure shock and astonishment made his heart sink. 

The silence, after such an outburst from a man usually of so little words, was even more suffocating than before. Cas stared at the stained carpet under his feet, and for the first time in his life he felt like crying. Dean shifted beside him, but Cas was afraid to look up, afraid to watch Dean leave. 

But Dean did not leave. 

Instead he knelt down in front of this broken angel, and cupped Cas’ face with both of his work callused hands. Cas looked up then, misty blues meeting piercing greens, and Dean’s face was so close Cas could almost taste Dean’s breath. 

“Do you love me Cas?” Dean’s voice was barely a whisper, yet it was filled with such desperation it made Cas ache. 

“I...believe I do,” Cas whispered back, his head taking on that subconscious tilt, only this time the movement was made more tender with Dean’s fingers still resting on his cheeks. Cas watched as the tension flowed out of Dean’s shoulders and his features relaxed into the most genuine smile Cas had ever seen. Cas studied Dean’s face, from the crow’s feet at the corners of his gorgeous eyes down to the chiselled, stubble covered chin, then his eyes settled on Dean’s lips, slightly chapped yet pulled into the most heart warming smile. 

Cas leaned down and closed his eyes, gingerly, still unsure of himself, he planted a small feathery kiss on those chapped lips. At that moment everything felt right in the world, and Cas felt Dean’s fingers tighten around his cheek and jaw, pulling him in even as Dean’s lips crushed against his. The kiss was tender at first, Dean’s lips, moistened by their breath, was soft yet demanding. Cas had shared but a handful of kisses with others, and was not prepared for the sudden onslaught of passion as Dean deepened the kiss, his tongue probing and unyielding until Cas finally parted his lips. Dean tasted of whiskey and...strawberries, Cas mused as he allowed himself to be carried away by the sheer ferocity of Dean’s touch. 

One of Dean’s hands moved up from Cas’ chin to grip a handful of chestnut brown hair, pulling Cas even closer to Dean than before, and Cas let his body take over; After all his vessel was at one point a man that had danced the tango of lust. Muscle memory led Cas’ fingers across Dean’s shoulders, his hands resting on the back of Dean’s neck. With this new hold on the man kneeling in front of him Cas pulled himself into the embrace and it was his turn to push his tongue into Dean’s waiting mouth. There, in the middle of the motel room, Dean still on his knees, the two of them with arms entwined finally allowed themselves to get lost within each other. Bottled up feelings came pouring out in the act of one simple kiss that left them both breathless.

“Dean…” Cas panted, his voice thick, his lips swollen. “I…”

“Shhh,” Dean put a finger against Cas’ lips. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for asking you to leave when you needed me the most. I’m so sorry for...for you turning human, for your loss, and...and I’m so sorry for loving you.” 

Cas cocked his head once more, a look of confusion coming back into his eyes. “Sorry for loving me? Why?” 

“Because it’s...it’s wrong. You must know this, your Lord condemns it,” Dean choked back. 

“God has given you the capacity to love, and he gave you free will. You choose who you love Dean, because you’re human, because you’re made to choose.” It was Cas who took Dean’s face between his hands this time, tilting Dean’s face up and kissing him on each eye lid. “I know why you asked me to leave, I do not hate you for it, but it did hurt.

“Dean, there’s so much that need doing out there, but for now let me bask in this new found feeling you humans call love. I have experienced sex, but I want to know what LOVE feels like.” 

Dean needed no further urging as he rose from his position, his eyes locked onto Castiel’s somewhat frightened blues as he pushed the slightly shorter man back onto the bed. Like a predatory feline Dean crawled up on top of Cas and looked down on the helpless angel, trapped inside that human body, trapped under HIS human body. “You have no clue how long I’ve wanted you Cas. Since the day you walked into my life, shadow wings unfurling in that warehouse.” Dean leaned in close, his breath tickling Cas’ jaw line as he spoke, then his lips latched onto heated skin and his tongue darted out for a taste of his sweet angel. 

Cas whimpered, the sound alien even to himself, for he had never made such a noise before. The smell of gun oil and whiskey overwhelmed Cas’ senses as he took Dean in. Dean’s tongue travelled along his neck, leaving wet little kiss trails that caused Cas to shiver both in need and delight. 

“Dean...please,” Cas managed as Dean’s fingers lingered on the buttons of his shirt. With trembling fingers Cas helped Dean undo the buttons, after all it was his only work shirt and he couldn’t afford to ruin it. 

“Please what Cas?” Dean pushed himself to his hands and knees and looked down at Cas, a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips as he took in the mess that was Castiel trapped under him. “Please...do this?” With his eyes locked on Cas’ face Dean swiftly unbuttoned Cas’ pants and allowed his hand to disappear under the waistband. Dean’s smirk turned into a growl as his fingers felt the outline of Cas’ arousal, mirroring his own. 

Cas all but bucked Dean off of him as he felt Dean’s fingers wrap around his erection, his grip firm and warm and a million other things Cas couldn’t even describe. “Oh God…” Cas clamped his mouth shut and mentally compartmentalized the implications of whispering the name of his Father while having relations with another man for later. 

“Oh I hope God’s not listening, I’ve never had luck with fathers,” Dean winked. Before Cas could reply Dean slithered down, his fingers hooking into Cas’ pants to take them down south with him. Cas shivered as the cold of the room hit his erection, the coolness made him miss Dean’s touch that much more. He did not have to wait long, or even ask, for Dean was already right back where he left off, only this time his lips, along with his fingers, were on Cas’s erection. The notion of it, and the overwhelming warmth made Cas groan. 

Dean’s roguish expression softened just a touch as he continued to shower kisses and caresses onto Cas. “I’ve never done this...with another man you know. But I have an idea what would feel good.” Cas could only nod, not trusting his voice. “I don’t want this to...ruin things between us.” Cas shook his head vigorously, the look in his eyes was all the consent Dean needed. 

Swiftly Dean took the bulging head of Cas’ erection between his lips, his tongue tasting the salty pre-cum, then slowly he lowered his head down until he could go no further. With his tongue wrapped around the shaft Dean pulled back and grinned around the hard cock as he heard Cas catch his breath. The not so innocent angel was so fun to tease that Dean couldn’t help but draw out each lick, each suck, and each time he plunged down on Cas he made sure to pause at the end until Cas finally picked up the rhythm and started moving his own hips. 

Dean felt Cas’ fingers thread through his hair as his movements became more frenzied. Dean relaxed his throat and finally gave Cas the go ahead to take over. To Cas nothing existed in this very moment except for the hot mouth around his arousal, those mischievous green eyes that kept on glancing up at him, and Dean’s fingers on his testicles as he felt himself losing control. The tension started to build low in his belly, then lower still, his whole body was tense as a bowstring, ready to snap. Cas growled something unintelligible as his hips thrust one last time, almost painfully upwards, his cock burying itself deep down Dean’s throat. Then his whole world froze as he emptied his passion into his lover, his mouth locked in a silent scream before the cry of his orgasm hit him.

Dean winced as Cas’ fingers locked firmly in his hair, pulling his head even lower into Cas’ lap. He could feel Cas spasm as his passion was spent, and waited until Cas was a melted puddle under him. Dean sat up on his haunches and looked down at Castiel, drinking in the glazed blue eyes, the partially parted lips, the heaving chest as Cas calmed down from his orgasm. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Dean breathed, more to himself than to Cas, before pulling his own shirt over his head. Dean was very hot, and his jeans had become so constricting it was almost painful. Cas watched as Dean pulled away and undressed, noting the way his muscles rippled just under his tanned skin. There were scars there, tiny ones, large ones, each one a badge of honour towards the work Dean does everyday for humanity. Cas allowed his eyes to roam as he watched Dean unwrap himself in front of him, until his gaze landed on Dean’s unspent passion between his legs. Cas blushed and looked away embarrassed. 

Dean laughed, the sound rich and deep, then crawled back on top of Cas. Without looking Dean reached over to the nightstand and pulled open the drawer, where he retrieved a bottle of lube and a condom. “Always be prepared for anything right?”

“R-Right,” Cas stammered. He had an idea of what would happen next, but the reality of it was still a bit daunting. 

“Don’t worry, it’ll only hurt a little. Trust me Cas,” Dean whispered against Cas’ ear, nibbling on his earlobe absentmindedly as he reached between their bodies and pushed Cas’ thighs apart. 

“I trust you Dean.”

With infinite patience Dean rubbed the lube around Cas’ ring of clenched muscle, willing it to relax enough so he could slip just one finger in. Cas squirmed as the cold lube touched his heated flesh, but Dean’s tender movements helped him relax, and before long Dean was able to slip one, then two fingers inside him. Cas gasped, his back arching just slightly as he felt the pressure inside him, the pain of the initial penetration had long disappeared, and Cas was left with an unfamiliar feeling that was not unpleasant. Dean watched Cas carefully, noting the tension ebbing slowly from Cas’ face, then he inserted a third finger and stopped dead as Cas hissed in pain. 

“It’s...it’s okay Dean, don’t stop,” Cas gasped between clenched teeth and tried to calm his breathing, the pain was intense, but once again it subsided until only a dull humming pleasure was left behind. It was most strange, but it was also delicious. Slowly Dean began moving his fingers in and out of Cas, slowly and carefully and never too rough, until Cas was once again a squirming mess, but this time not from discomfort but pleasure. 

“Cas I need you, I need to be in you, are you ready?” Dean couldn’t keep the desperation out of his voice. 

“Yes Dean, I also need you...need to feel you.” 

Dean smiled and withdrew his hand, then with practised fingers he slipped on the condom and drizzled on more lube. Carefully he placed himself between Cas’ thighs, one hand guiding his erection, the other rubbing Cas’ second erection. Slowly Dean leaned forward and pushed with his hips, there was slight resistance at first, but slowly Cas opened up to him. Dean hissed as the head of his penis pushed through, the tightness and warmth of it made him light headed. 

“Fuck Cas…” Dean groaned as he slowly pushed himself all the way in. His fingers dug into Cas’ thighs as he willed himself to stay still, letting Cas adjust to his girth. Cas’ was grateful for the pause, for Dean’s cock was much thicker than even the three fingers, and the pressure deep down was intense. Seconds passed, and finally Cas started to wiggle his hips, having once again worked through the pain, the feeling of being filled was quite exquisite. 

It was all the go ahead Dean needed as he felt Cas move beneath him. Like a man possessed Dean started to move within his lover with barely restrained need. The motel room was quiet save for the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, Dean’s laboured breathing and Cas’ moans as Dean increased his pace. 

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and pulled Dean down to him. Dean grasped Cas’ shoulders tightly and practically yanked the man under him to meet every and every one of his thrusts. The change in position hit something inside Cas that made him cry out in surprised pleasure, twice, three times, and Cas lost count as Dean’s movements became frenzied. 

The room spun as Cas shut his eyes, he could feel Dean’s body tense up on top of his even as his own body tensed up once more, his back arching off the bed as light exploded behind his shut eyelids. He could feel the hot fluid shot between their bodies, feel his cock twitching and spasming even as he clamped down on Dean.

Dean growled and bit Cas’ shoulder hard as he tried to hold back his climax for as long as possible. Cas was cumming, and the pressure of him clamping down on Dean was just too much as Dean thrust into Cas hard and deep. He felt his own body tense up then he was tumbling downwards into Cas, emptying all his pent up rage, angst, passion and love into the willing body under him. 

The two of them laid there like that for minutes, until Cas finally tried to push Dean from on top of him. “I...cannot breath Dean.”

“Sorry Cas,” Dean gasped and rolled to his side, the movement causing him to pull out of Cas. 

They lay there side by side for a long while, each lost in his own thoughts. The silence was not uncomfortable this time, and there was no tension in the air. Only an unspoken understanding between two men that’s literally been to hell and back together. 

“I...can’t have you with us just yet Cas,” Dean sighed as he rolled onto one elbow, looking down at Cas. 

“I understand. I started a war, now I must finish it Dean,” Cas reached up and traced a finger along Dean’s jaw. “Thank you, for showing me this. It was nothing like the pizza man.” 

Dean’s laughter roared out into the night.


End file.
